Once upon a time I was a satisfied customer of Speakeasy DSL, Internet service provider. The static-IP service was expensive but it worked. On the rare occasions when it did not, you could call them. When you called, a human would answer. And that human who answered would have a clue about computers and networks, and the problem would be addressed promptly. This level of service costs money and I was glad to pay.
Then I moved to a place two blocks from where I had lived hitherto. Speakeasy's website said "Moving? Not a problem" and represented that you could get your existing service transferred to a new location. It turns out that was false. When I tried to move the service they said I had to enter into a brand new 12-month contract and go through the horror of installation. I agreed to this because it was take it or leave it. Installation proved to be a textbook study in ass-rape. With third parties like Verizon and Covad involved, making you take off work to wait for hours for their techs who then stand you up, or cannot complete the work and make you schedule another appointment, you know we are talking major ass-fucking. Another cute trick Covad pulled was sending a tech unannounced and calling me in the middle of the work day and saying "where are you? We can't get in because you aren't here."
I grant you, Speakeasy is not Covad. But when I moved again a year later, I said no more Speakeasy. It's expensive and the installation is a nightmare for which I simply do not have the time, let alone the patience.
I drew in a deep breath and signed up for Comcast's TV/VOIP/Internet bundle, despite Comcast's notoriously poor reputation for service. (By the way, the Comcast tech came punctually when they said he would, and did what they said he would, and the service has been perfectly fine so far.) I called Speakeasy on September 12 to cancel. They said I could not cancel without incurring a termination fee because the contract did not expire until the 22nd. I said, you coerced me into this contract in the first place after first saying I could move without extending it. And we are talking a mere ten days so what's the big deal. Too bad, said the unctuous prick in so many words, call back and cancel on the 22nd or eat the fee. I called back on the 22nd and guess what. They said call back on the 23rd. Overnight, I got another invoice for $125 plus another $90 detailed simply as "service charges."
So I called back on the 23rd and warned the guy who answered that I had been given the runaround and excuse me if I sound annoyed. He made it all right, and made the $90 go away -- or so he says, we will see if Speakeasy comes after me for it.
They used to be a decent bunch -- there was professionalism mixed with genuine human warmth and intelligence. It seems to me that since the Best Buy acquisition they have turned into just another shithead corporation determined to make the consumer navigate and endless voicemail maze, only to get fucked with and jerked around once they reach a human.
