Coffee is More Addictive than Cocaine


I can go almost indefinitely without cocaine. I can go for little more than 24 hours without coffee.

I can get up in the morning and consider leaving the house for work without first doing a blast of cocaine. I can't bear the thought without a blast of espresso.

I can concentrate on my work without my brain interrupting me to demand a line. I can hit a wall, fall on my ass and stay there for want of coffee.

If I wake up in a motel or someplace where there is no coffee I will go out and get some without even brushing my teeth, and persist in my quest for coffee until I score. Even on a bad day you won't see me out there copping a bag.

Therefore, coffee is more addictive than cocaine. QED.


Although I lack personal experience with the other substance, your description of Coffee Withdrawal Syndrome (CWS) resonates with me. I've been known to prowl office corridors following the seductive aroma emitted by somebody's personal coffee maker and to seriously consider committing a petty theft.

I concur. I have experienced and experimented with several known addictive substances including cocaine, and have kicked them all, except one: coffee. Without it, the voices in my head get so loud I can't hear myself think, and the head pain... oh, the pain. Once I tried to go off my daily dose, and the CWS lasted for three weeks!! I really didn't feel "myself" during that time either, come to think of it.
For me though, it's only in the morning that the craving must be assuaged. Once I have it, I'm okay. I can go on. Must. Not. Leave. House. Without. It.

While I can't quibble about the observation of coffee being an important part of most peoples lives as I too have wandered bleary eyed in search of brown gold in the morning, I posit that cigarettes are way more addictive than coffee. I can't imagine sifting through a trash can trying to find some leftover coffee in a styrofoam cup. Or pretending to bus tables in the local starbucks in hopes of scoring some dregs. Every cigarette smoker can tell stories of sifting through ash trays looking for a butt with a couple of drags still left to be enjoyed, regardless of the fact that it always tastes like shit. A desperate smoker will even pick a butt up off the sidewalk as if it is manna from heaven. And lets not get into the crazed search through all of ones pockets in every garment in hopes of finding a forgotten unfinished pack. Hey! I forgot to check the ashtray in the car and under the seats!

I once saw this graffito in a men's room: Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals as this makes them difficult to light.

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This page contains a single entry by Professor B published on January 30, 2004 10:47 AM.

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